They're Baaaaaaack

New Kids on the Block that is, and so am I. It's been a crappy summer thus far with little in the way of updates, but this bit of inanity finally inspired me.

I was a bit too young for NKOTB the first time around, but I sort of knew who they were. Hot young guys who sing romantic songs in harmony, making girls 'round the world melt. They followed the boy band formula well enough and I have a vague memory of somebody's sister having a doll version of her favorite member in the group. Looking back on them now, though, I'm shocked to see that they apparently became popular before hitting puberty.

So, of course, it made sense to have them do a reunion tour now that they're all dad aged. Their youngest and most baby-faced member, Joey McIntyre, is 35, while the rest of the band looks a few years older than the barely-under-forty they actually are. After watching this video, I had to take a long hot shower to make myself feel clean again, thanks to the fact that some genius decided the video should follow the formula of all boy band videos.

Namely, the members should sing soulfully while romancing models who look about eighteen. When the members of the group appear to be just the right age to have fathered those models, it is not sexy. It is not romantic. It's fucking creepy. It makes me think of somebody's father ogling all of her friends when they come over.

Men who are sliding into middle age seducing girls that are young enough to be their daughters might be a fantasy, but it's more likely one entertained by creepy middle aged men than teenage girls.