Sunday, July 15, 2007

Your Song

When I was teenager, I knew a boy. For the sake of privacy, let's call him "D." He was in a band, which isn't all that surprising. I've only ever dated one guy who wasn't in some way musically inclined and he turned out gay. Coincidence? I think not.


D wrote a song about me that was meant to be the sort of romantic pantie dropper that teenage musicians strive for. He failed, as it was actually vaguely insulting and misogynistic. I still wasted far too much time with him, though, and it took me a long time to grasp that if he wrote a song that bad about me, it indicated something about the way he saw me and romance in general.

At around the same time, there was another boy I knew, "F." As far as I know, F never wrote a song about me and if he did, I shudder to think of what it would be like. F did, however, provide me with MP3s and a mix CD. There was a whole lot of Bryan Adams in all of this and he said that, to him, Bryan Adams' music was a blueprint for romance.

Musical taste aside, there was a lot of truth in this, though I'm not sure how aware of the realities surrounding his musical tastes F was. He didn't find a song that described his current relationship. Instead, he tried to fit his relationships into what he thought was quintessentially romantic. Like a baby gosling fresh from its egg, he'd imprinted on Bryan Adams. As a result, his relationships have, in fact, reflected Bryan Adams' music, oddly enough.

I think that a lot of people do this, whether it's with music, poetry, movies or some other sort of "blueprint for romance." At some point in our lives we get this idea about what a relationship should be like and then we spend the rest of our lives trying to fit every relationship into that mold. For me, it's "Your Song" by Elton John and Bernie Taupin. No sweeping orchestra, no horrific hyperbole. Hell, the narrator of the song can't even remember what color his lover's eyes are! It's just simple and sweet. It's far from the most passionate song out there, but that's what works for me. There's very little drama, but a warm happiness all the same.

Now, I wonder about the practical applications of my musical theory of relationships. If I'd applied it to D, I might have realized what an ass he was earlier. If I'd applied it to the non-musically inclined guy I might have recognized that he was in the closet. No straight man should look to Britney Spears to encapsulate romance. Actually, nobody should period. If I asked what everyone's favorite romantic song was on the first meeting, maybe I'd weed out a lot of incompatible people. Or, at the very least, I'd get an amusing glimpse of someone else's thought process.

So what's your song?

No comments: